I'm going to jail i love you
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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