You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
