Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
