i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just blew my weed a kiss
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
