You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Are my feet made of real feet?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
