Just mADE A PArabola og urine
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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