Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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