So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
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My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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