just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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