it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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