So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
