We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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