Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
