Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
