Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
