he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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