You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She's the barista slut.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
