remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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