guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
