What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
