here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
