you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
