At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
