I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
