What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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