Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.