I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there