Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
