don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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