that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
