If you die in college, do you die in real life?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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