Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
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my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
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People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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