that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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