Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
