Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
wow bdsm is so cute
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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