and you said cock pushups were impossible
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
