We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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