Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
