someone get that fucking seahorse.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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