I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
