You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
lol hangovers are for mortals.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
