Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
