I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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