dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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