Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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