smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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