I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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