come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
