hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize