Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I have feelings that need drinking.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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