Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday

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(601): View more from Mississippi

He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.

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(310): View more from California

So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?

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(816): View more from Missouri

she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture

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(620): View more from Kansas

Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid

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(302): View more from Delaware

I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.

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(812): View more from Indiana

We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.

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