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I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
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