Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do