Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.

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(614): View more from Ohio

You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby

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(614): View more from Ohio

I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.

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(540): View more from Virginia

At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.

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(613): View more from Ontario

you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.

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(256): View more from Alabama

We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"

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(618): View more from Illinois

I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.

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