Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I painted my nails silver

(586): View more from Michigan

And what are the implications of that?

(313): View more from Michigan

Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien

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(313): I painted my nails silver (586): And what are the implications of that? (313): Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien http://tfl.nu/iy32

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(407): View more from Florida

If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.

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(407): If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that. http://tfl.nu/f0c3

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today

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(715): ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today http://tfl.nu/9i5r

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.

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(570): don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you. http://tfl.nu/ijol

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.

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(860): I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus. http://tfl.nu/nv5c

Replies (17) Good night (4129) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt
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(407): View more from Florida

Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.

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(407): Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid. http://tfl.nu/hg5d

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(914): View more from New York

He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.

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(914): He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew. http://tfl.nu/v7c1

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(310): View more from California

LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.

(310): View more from California

And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.

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(310): LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers. (310): And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow. http://tfl.nu/mkft

Replies (26) Good night (4079) Bad night (1146)
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(330): View more from Ohio

The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.

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(330): The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life. http://tfl.nu/g5ok

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(651): View more from Minnesota

asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.

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(651): asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night. http://tfl.nu/52m5

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(770): View more from Georgia

you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.

(678): View more from Georgia

THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.

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(770): you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why. (678): THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH. http://tfl.nu/cex4

Replies (18) Good night (2846) Bad night (533)
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(415): View more from California

Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.

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(415): Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity. http://tfl.nu/w288

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(775): View more from Nevada

Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha

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(775): Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha http://tfl.nu/7v5q

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(612): View more from Minnesota

you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.

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(612): you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing. http://tfl.nu/yg2q

Replies (3) Good night (765) Bad night (161)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.

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(+44): It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution. http://tfl.nu/zvzs

Replies (2) Good night (311) Bad night (99) Order T-Shirt

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