upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.