Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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