buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
