therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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