A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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