i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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