weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
