I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
