We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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